As in a tasty mix of talk

Saturday, July 11, 2009

My Big Fat Healing Ego

Hello, everyone… this post is for YOU!

While I was recuperating from metastatic bone cancer/hip replacement surgery at Cedars-Sinai, I began working on a blog post titled, “Losing Your Big Fat Ego… One Enema at a Time.”

Hospitals DO impose a million assaults on one’s dignity. But hey, that’s over. I’m home now, well on the way to recovery, and a philosophical treatise on the link between self-esteem and control of one’s bodily functions is the last thing I want to write. (I can hear all of you sighing with relief!)

Oh, wait. Let me share just one TMI moment. Kudos to a male nursing aid aptly named Angel, whose matter-of-fact bedpan technique helped me survive my hospital indignities without killing a nurse. (Laurie, I am SO glad you didn’t bring me that loaded gun I requested.)

Moving on… it will take about six months of physical therapy for complete recovery, and I will probably spend July and August learning how to look sexy while using a walker. (Forgive me, God, for once thinking that motorized chairs were for… squares.) As I return to normal, though some might say I’ve never even approached that condition, I will use my newly acquired sense of mortality to:

Bow down and chant, “I’m not worthy” to my niece Heather, who saved my ass by producing my client newsletters while I was hospitalized; to my niece Nikki, who made the Smart Mom decision to stay in a hotel instead of with me during her visit here, avoiding the risk that her 3-year old and 4 1/2-year old sons might take flying leaps at Aunt Pat’s exotic new wheelchair; to my friend Anna, who knows my tastes so well that she selected and arranged for the purchase and delivery of a new couch and new bedding, so I could return to a more comfortable home environment; to my niece Stacy and my Dad and Sister and so many friends, who called the hospital twenty times a day to check on my progress (OK, maybe 15 times); to Victoria, and she'll know why; to the wonderful circle of friends I met through Laurie’s blog, who sent me funny, fantastic and supportive emails; and finally, to my soul-of-generosity sister-in-law, who left crops in the ground at her Kentucky farm AND a paying job to care for me during my first two weeks at home, and who is not only a great companion but a gourmet cook.

I may not be worthy, but I sure am lucky. And all of YOU are too wonderful for words from this writer who has exhausted her superlatives.


Blogger Mister Earl said...

Hi Pat - Glad to see you're home and doing well!

9:37 AM

Blogger Judy Williams said...

DARLING!! So glad to know you are well and feisty again and back at home. Sending oodles more love than the posted card implied.



4:11 PM

Blogger Laurie said...

Love you love you love you LOVE YOU LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU LURRRRRRRRRVVVVVVVVVVVE YOUOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I may not have been able to help with your bedpan, but I have jewelry for you. The good stuff.

7:51 PM

Blogger Gladgrower said...

Spending this time with you has been just wonderful!
You are so beloved, and will be doing the tango before long, should you desire so :)

7:54 PM

Blogger Dixie Jane said...

I have been so involved in my own medical circumstances that I have neglected to tell you how many days and ways I have thought about you. I won't go into details. But you, my darling, are amazing in your ability to deal and fortunate to have loved ones to help. Sometimes I feel like the lone Indian on the mountain top. The flowers I did not send, were beautiful. the cards I did not send were poignant and filled with love. All the feelings are still there and I am so glad you are home to escape the need for a rifle. I needed one too. Nurse Rached #1 and #2 nearly ruined me with a catheter that they were going to get in if it hairlipped the county. I was screaming with pain. Do know how much I love you and respect your ability to fight, fight, fight. I hope to see you sometime in the near future. I haven't been up to making a trip for some time. I miss my Laurie so much it hurts. It has been a year. Know that you are loved.

9:19 PM

Anonymous NikkiS said...

Yak, wishing I lived in L.A. so I could have been there to help you pee in a cup...I wouldn't have even tested your urine for narcotics either...promise?!?!?!?!
Love you bunches, always :)

7:27 AM

Blogger San Diego Farmgirl said...

You are the Angel, Yak! All those kind and helpful actions from family and friends are merely a fraction of the love you've shown us. Let me know when you're ready to paint that walker hot pink with zebra stripes.

8:28 AM

Anonymous stacyt said...

You are the most worthy person in the world for love and support considering all of it you have doled out on us forever!!!!!

7:44 AM

Blogger John said...

'Hip Hip' Hooray!!! (yeah, I found someplace to use it!) You stored up a huge well of gratitude and affection and it makes sense that it was there when you needed it. Love is like that, you know. It increases exponentially for us the more we give it.

9:21 AM

Blogger Roy said...


You know how I feel and now I know how you feel, so enough of this talk of evil pre-dead... let's talk about Drill Baby Drill resigning.... there's got to be something worth ranting about there!

I suggest that we take bets on how long it will take abstinence touting Bristol to get pregnant again. My bet is by or before 8/9/10.

1:15 PM

Blogger Yakpate said...

THANKS for all the kind comments... my healing process is feasting on your love!

Roy... last night on a cable comedy special, standup Margaret Cho opened her act with a juicy bit about how much SHE would like to nail Sarah Palin!

This does not bode well for Sarah's future!

8:07 AM

Blogger altadenahiker said...

Hey Pat! From the second blogger once removed. We all have a martini date in our future. (You, too, Earl and SDFG.)

6:11 PM

Blogger mimi said...

Just adding to the ocean of love.
You are amazing. Can't wait to see you. We're all at work getting ready for the games - wheelchair roller derby - here we come!
xoxo morel

8:39 AM

Blogger Cafe Pasadena said...

YP, like that great conservative icon of last century said: "It takes a village."

I send you good luck & prayers for your health progressing to the point of full recovery. Keep laughing.

You're a great writer as per de norm.

10:59 AM

Blogger stacyj said...

You are an inspiration.

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