Ann, Meet Eva...

Remember Eva Braun? She was to Hitler as Ann Coulter is to the NeoCon community… a perverted human being who acts out her sadistic fantasies under a coward’s umbrella, pretending to support an ideology when in reality she is masturbating in the laps of right-wing (OK, fascist) madmen.

It’s the smile that gives Ann away. As she knowingly tells lies designed to elicit outrage and speechless indignation, her eyes sparkle and her lips spread open to reveal her teeth, presumably capped to cover the sharpened points at talk show appearances. Eva Braun also loved the vicarious thrill of watching her master's propaganda wound its victims. She probably smiled, too. But that’s where the power ends for these pusillanimous cling-ons. Like the molls of serial killers who solicit junior high school girls for kidnap, rape and videotaped torture, Ann Coulter is merely a passive-aggressive go-fer for the Neo-Cons whose propaganda she claims to formulate. Anyone who heard the all-male cheerleader plants at her June 15th Jay Leno appearance realizes she’s a coward. Just like Dub-Yah, she won’t make an appearance without a loud and phony support group to corrupt genuine audience response.

Poor Ann. Secretly, she chafes under the burden of her role as NeoCon mascot. Her biggest fear is that, one day, she will blurt out a crazy opinion like, “poor people have feelings too,” whereupon her masters will get out their stun guns, encircle her, strip and make sport of her. No wonder she dutifully broadcasts their opinions in a tone of voice that barely suppresses her hysteria. And late at night, in her dreams, in her deepest, truest self, she is sickened by her pleasure in pulling off the wings of flies. She wonders what went wrong in her childhood. She wishes she could get some therapy. She wants to just forget the whole thing.

Too bad, Ann. Go to hell and take turns with Eva Braun sucking the greasy cocks of the war-mongering, fascist bastards who turn you on. They’re waiting for you with sharpened pencils.